Saturday, April 2, 2016

What is the Vision of Your Marriage?

I have been on a hiatus since 2014 from my business My Bridal Budget. I have taken a break from serving my clients to making a choice to serve me as I prepared to become a Bride. I recently tied the knot on October 2015. I wanted to share my deepest experiences as I planned my own nuptials, but I was very consumed in working on the emotional aspects of what is about to come next as being a Wife.

I’m excited to be back to share and tell the real emotional experiences of wedding planning, rather than just how to plan a wedding on a budget, or on timeline.

Planning a wedding on a budget and planning what colors to choose for your wedding theme sounds all fabulous and every woman dreams about that special day. However, a question that hardly no one asks to a Bride, is What is your Vision of Your Marriage? Deep question, right? Not a lot of family members or dearest friends would ask that. The normal question, is OMG Congratulations, Are you excited? What is your colors? When is the date? Where is your venue? However, that intuitive question hardly comes up. Perhaps, you probably haven’t asked that question yourself, due to all the excitement and planning surrounding a wedding.

Since 2014, I started to ask that question myself, What is the Vision of My Marriage?

Marriage is very important because it is a sacrament and a vow that will be the biggest transition of your life and its not to be taken so lightly nor taken for granted, similar to life choices such as what college you are going to, what career path you choose, and now Marriage- the partner that you will select to marry the rest of your life and to begin sharing your families, traditions, and growing your own family.

Marriage consist of love, friendship, passion, family, finances and more. How does this look like as you become Mr. & Mrs.? Sometimes, some engaged couples avoid these topics, which leads to plunging thoughts as “lets wish for the best” or pleasing family members to tie the knot or another mental phrase I have heard is “we can figure this out later AFTER we get married”. However, ignoring these topics prior to marriage can be detrimental to your relationship or it can lead to doubts such as if you selected the right partner and made the right choice.

It can be creating a Vision Board of your marriage. I find that to be very helpful when I was a Bride, working on a vision board of how my marriage would look like, not the bride I would look like on the day of, but how my marriage would be such as committed, focused, emotionally healthy, loving, family oriented, God-centered, and more.

It took the time for me to look within what the true meaning of marriage is. Absolutely, it felt good and I felt confident more so than ever to stand at that alter to commit to the man I love and to share my future with. My vows were aligned to my vision board and not a google script of what a bride is supposed to say, for better or worse, sickness or death, it’s really dissecting these words find out what does this ALL mean, and what does it look like in your own life.

This may take deeper long process, and here is some helpful tips:

1) Meet with a pre-marital therapist/counselor to ask you the deepest questions as to why you want to get married? (It can be your pastor as well. We met with our pastor on a quarterly basis and a therapist to challenge us as well and it gave us some helpful preparation). It’s okay to start therapy before marriage, rather than waiting for a catastrophic problem to arise. It will save your marriage before it starts!

2) Create a Vision Board with your fiancé, find out what your fiancé wants his marriage to be. This also helps to see if you are on the SAME page. Journal what are your desires and intentions about your marriage, and simply cut out images that are aligned with what you journaled and put it on a board.

3) Have a long engagement (1 year or 2 years max). What is the rush to get to the alter? Take the time to ask the questions that will define your marriage for a lifetime. As you take this time you are giving time for wedding planning and marriage preparation. All the hardwork is worth it! Remember Marriage is not a Sprint, it’s a Marathon.

4) Read books- lots of books about marriage! Educate yourself. Not wedding planning blogs/magazines. Invest in material such as Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (this books identifies how you and your partner express love).

5) Build a Support System-Meet with your married friends, your parents- Have them share their trials and tribulations, as well as the benefits of marriage.

As you read this blog, I do hope you are enlightened and you begin the path of what truly what wedding planning is all about!